20 August 2005
I went to Lakeside on Thursday night, after an utterly atrocious "Seven Swords".
My friends almost always fall prey to my primal shutterbug instincts and here we are, caught in the frame of the lenses, somewhere in time.
And so we stood, looking out towards the lake, the street lamps illuminating the spiral pathway. My camera was exposed on 15 seconds. And we waited. 15.. 12.. 8.. Snap. Click. My camera recorded a world that was brighter than it was in reality. And in it, the colours glowed in basic hues, intensified, and blurred.
We were walking around the lake, trying to think of lines to say in the video, but we almost always lost focus. My camera, however, never did. We spoke endlessly. And when time was up to do the video, we simply improvised.
My camera is my best friend. My camera and my best friend.
The past week had been tumultuous. A long route march punctuated with a cooling river crossing in between, a long endurance run, a house arrest I had to execute - handcuffing the boy in front of his crying grandmother, an episode I would never forget.
And after all that I felt I could exit the dimension of construcuted speech and language, of vowels and alphabets, and understand, by the sublime movements of the human body.
If you watch American's Next Top Model, I love Kahlen. She's the prettiest thing I've ever seen.
D woke up at 8/20/2005 01:36:00 PM [comment]
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07 August 2005
Like a bird, dead in the city.
Swept up on the dustpan
buried in the trashcan.
I was afraid of the pigeon; the dead one. And I cannot understand why.
I went to Bugis Street on Friday.
And because I love portraits:
After seeing David's exhibition on Thursday night, I decided I want to take alot alot of pictures and I would want my own exhibition someday.
I saw a packet of medication for fever and I couldn't bear to throw it away, so I set up a mini studio.
Do you get depressed on Mondays?
I've been out out out out out very often. And when I reach home I'm barely sober and sane enough to collect my thoughts and write them down here.
Brendan asked me today if I had any current love interest. I gave a 'no' that resounded in my head at least a million times thereafter.
But am I lonely?
I was talking to a friend of mine that day and I said, in that exact moment of revelation, that sometimes, I just want to feel the warmth of another person in my arms, breathing on my chest, hair on my lips. But I'll fall asleep thinking that, and I wake up to my friends again. And sometimes I'll fall asleep not thinking that.
So it's just sometimes.
There are so many people around me. And yet sometimes, I hear a million "no's" resounding in my head.
D woke up at 8/07/2005 12:19:00 AM [comment]
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