06 September 2011

So I caught Beginners tonight. It was a lovely little film that I probably won't remember in detail, but largely in fragments and how it made me feel. I guess most films give me that anyway. But this film is special. I'm like Oliver in the film, shuttling between memories of her and reality. Some days I stare blankly into a face of a lady who reminds me of her. Some mornings I get stuck reading a word that triggers my memory of my childhood. Some evenings I drive down the highway and I remember the days when she was still in the backseat and I would have to slow down intentionally. Or the nights I left the hospital in a kind of nervous anxiety. I wished I spent all my waking moments with her in the two years. Most days I get by, but by the end of week, I always find myself wishing for a long holiday just to write about her and think about her because I still her around me, and I want to feel her around. I don't want her to leave, really, if you ask me. I wished you were here.

D woke up at 9/06/2011 11:34:00 PM [comment]

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