14 September 2010

My aunt passed away last Thursday. We were about to visit her in the hospital when my grandfather called and rendered the trip unnecessary. There was no crying in the family, but my mom was especially put down by the news. It didn't help that our family Chinese sinseh, who knew my body better than I did, and whom was my mother's confidant since her university days passed on the exact same day, a few hours before my aunt.

The concept of death and someone's passing is depressing, but when I was beside the coffin, staring at my aunt, once alive, inside, I was speechless. I thought I saw her lips twitch. She used to always do that when she was alive.

She went too quickly, my cousins said. We were never close, but I could feel their despair. She fell, and had an operation on her wounded leg. She woke up and was fine after the operation, but collapsed into a coma the next afternoon. Her organs started failing. Bacterial infection, the doctors said. And they had nothing, but antibiotics that didn't work. When she passed, her legs were healed already. The night before, they were all crowded around her bed, speaking to her. A tear fell from the edge of her eye.

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Work has consumed me. Wholly and undeniably. There are endless things to do, and we're not exactly the most efficient and professional organization. Friendship reigns ahead of professional ability. I wonder if it's the same everywhere. Perhaps it's the passiveness inherent in my character. I am too laid back and run on a generally low energy level. I prefer to keep things friendly but professional. I don't talk much usually, and I guess I am just so drained by noon time, I love my lunch gym sessions, how it invigorates me just because I get to have some quiet time.

My drive home today was full of headlights in soft focus. I couldn't stand the noise on the bandwidths so I switched everything off. I could only hear my foot tapping on the accelerator, the disgruntled engine echoing my thoughts.

But this too, will pass.

D woke up at 9/14/2010 10:04:00 PM [comment]

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