30 January 2007

School has this ability to negate my preconceptions of the general goodwill of people, bury my passion for everything that is not profitable, and induce a certain behavioral pattern that involves feeling depressed in the early mornings and guilty for not making a trip to the gym in the evenings.

I find myself being acquainted with terms like “methods” (usually the direct and indirect), “balances”, “traits”, “models”… etc. and slowly I am reduced to a paragraph in the textbook as being an agreeable person with typified traits like being passive and making popular decisions. Before this, I never knew I could be explained.

I scour through my books searching for an answer to my destiny, in which I find only deadlines and definitions.
I turn on the TV to discover that she’s died in a car accident at 28 years old.
I talk to Elvin and Margaret to discover that he’s in a coma and reacting violently to visitors he recognizes.
I receive a call from Loke Wei and we spoke to each other for an hour. I felt as though he was still on his bed beside the window on Robin Road. I am still here. But he’s on the other side of the globe.

And in the lapse between sleeping and awaking, I felt – nothing.
And then I fell asleep.

D woke up at 1/30/2007 03:51:00 PM [comment]

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